LJ Idol Prize Fight: "On The Job"

[halfshellvenus]

On The Job
idol prize fight |week 22| 1880 words
Open Topic

x-x-x-x-x

It was still dark when Jack got the call to come into the office, but he was surprised to find that someone else had beaten him in.

"Hey, Cole, how're you doing?" he said.

"Jack! I haven't you in a while. How long's it been? Last summer? Or maybe last fall?"

Jack grinned. "Sounds about right," he said. "I like the look—black suit, red tie. It's really sharp. Have you been here long?"

"Nah, I just flew in from the back forty not too long ago. Say, you're looking trim these days."

"Thanks! I've been changing up my nutrition—trying more turkey instead of beef." Jack patted his stomach. "I think it's helping. Now I've just got to work on my blood pressure…"

"Yeah, I'm always trying to shed a few pounds, get down to that optimal size. It's all about making the best impression you can—camping gear's a competitive business. One thing at a time, though." Cole looked around the room. "Have they remodeled in here? It seems bigger."

"It does. There's definitely more light. Can't say the furniture looks any different, though. Are they ever going to get more chairs?"

"Seriously. With this many employees, you never know who's going to get called in, or how many of them you'll need for the job." Cole looked past Jack's shoulder. "This guy looks familiar. Do you know him?"

Jack turned to look. "Oh yeah, Hank? He's great. Super easy-going, very dependable." He waved Hank over. "Hey, man!" he said. "What's it been, about five years?"

"Naw." Hank ducked his head. "It can't be that long, can it?" He nodded to Cole. "Hi, I'm Hank," he said.

"Cole. Pleased to meet you."

"So, I see you're still going with the classic all-white look. You keeping fit?" Jack asked.

Hank shrugged. "As much as I can. You know how it is—you start to sag a little, and pretty soon people think you can't do the job. Then you're out, like yesterday's news."

"I hear you," Jack said. "Are you seeing many customers these days?"

"No, not really." Hank's shoulder's drooped. "They don't ask for me as much as they used to. I'm just your basic tube-sock rep, and it's all about custom patterns now, silk this and merino that. Most days, I just sit in my cubicle and wait."

"Aw, Hank." Jack bumped him softly with his shoulder. "You just have to keep selling yourself," he said. "You know how it is. Look at the market, look at your skills, work on your brand… Maybe it's time for an image makeover? Find a way to, uh—hey, what's the phrasing I'm looking for here, Cole?"

"A way to stay relevant?" Cole asked.

"Yeah, that's it!" Jake said. "We can talk about it later if you want, Hank. I'd be glad to help out."

Hank smiled shyly. "Thanks, Jack. You want some coffee? I'm going to get some."

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks buddy," Jack said. He watched Hank wander off. "Poor guy…"

Cole was still watching the door. "Looks like the Tech guy is here too," he said. "Look at all that gear! Damn, he's intimidating." Cole shook his head. "I've never talked to him, though. His name's Victor, right? Didn't you room with him on a couple of trips?"

Jake nodded. "Victor? Oh, yeah. But he's a complicated guy, hard to get to know. Really capable, but he kind of closes himself off from everyone else…"

"Oh. I see." Cole twisted uncomfortably. "You know, it might not be on purpose. Some people are just really self-reliant, and they don't always look outside themselves… Doesn't mean they're not friendly."

"It's okay, don't worry," Jack said. "Nobody thinks of you that way, you've always been awesome."

Hank was back. "Here you go," he said, handing Jack a cup of coffee.

"Oh, thanks." Jack took a sip. "Hmmm, not too bad."

"It's better than I remember," Hank said, "but I haven't been here in a while, so who knows? Hey, I'm going to go sit down."

"Okay. Save us a couple of places, would you?"

"Sure thing." Hank shuffled off across the room.

"Kay's here now, too," Jack said. "Did someone call a meeting? Have you heard anything?"

"Nah, they never tell us anything," Cole said. "So, I suppose you've worked with Kay, too?"

"Oh sure, we go back years," Jack said. "She's very earnest. A little nutty, sometimes, and those outfits…wow. I mean, purple and yellow together? Really? But she always gets the job done."

Cole eyed Kay critically. "She could use a little more fruit and a little less chocolate, if you ask me."

"Hey, hey, c'mon now." Jack frowned. "I think she's fine just the way she is." He crossed the room to greet her. "Kay?" he said.

"Oh, hi, Jack!"

"Great to see you!" Jack squeezed her hand. "New look?"

"Yes, I finally decided the yellow was a bit much. So, how've you been?"

"Good, good. This is Cole, by the way," Jack said.

"Kay Kars. Any idea why we're here?"

"We were just wondering that ourselves," Cole said.

"Hey, come sit with us," Jack said. "We're over there. You want some coffee first?"

"Oh no, I stay away from caffeine." Kay smiled brightly. "But thanks."

Jack guided Kay over to where Hank sat, relaxing and enjoying his coffee

"Hey, Kay, you're looking good," Hank said.

"Hi, Hank!" Kay sat down next to him. "It's good to see you. You haven't changed a bit!"

"Yeah, I know…" Hank sighed.

Jack sat next to Kay, and Cole took the spot next to him. Jack was about to say something, but sneezed instead. "Oh, god," he mumbled, and sneezed again.

"What's going on?" Hank asked. "You okay?"

"Too much cologne," Jack choked out.

"It must be the guy wearing head-to-toe green over there." Kay's eyes watered. "I hope he stays on the other side of the room."

"Wait it looks like he's leaving now," Cole said. "Maybe he was in the wrong place?"

"I guess," Jack said. "Thank god for that." He sniffled, wishing he had a Kleenex. "Huh. Who's the lady coming through the door? She's, like, wall-to-wall mascara. Not quite what you'd expect with this crowd."

"Boy, I got no idea what's going on here," Cole said. "You?"

"Not a clue."

"Maybe she's a corporate consultant?" Kay suggested.

"So, are we just having a meeting?" Jack wondered. "Or is this a prelim for something like going on a hike? Like those corporate team-building activities with ropes and trees?"

A piece of paper floated down between them.

"Oh, is that the agenda?" Hank asked.

"Looks like," Jack said. They all leaned forward to take a look. "Not too bad, only six or seven items..."

"Get a load of this clown, waltzing in on his own personal schedule," Cole muttered. "Anybody know him?"

"Nametag says 'Skippy'," Jack said.

Cole groaned. "Boy, I hope that's a nickname…"

"Right?" Kay added.

"I mean, you don't think he uses that name when he goes out in the field, do you?" Cole asked.

"Surely not." Hank looked troubled. "You have to respect the customer if you want him to respect you."

"Heck, respect yourself," Cole said.

"Exactly!" Jack squinted at the chunky-looking newcomer. "Maybe he's someone's nephew?"

'Skippy' wandered over to the coffee station, then searched all along the back wall. "What, no donuts?" he asked.

"Definitely someone's nephew," Cole said.

"Oh look, they've updated the agenda," Kay said. "They're splitting us into two groups, and then we're traveling to a remote site."

"I hope it's not too far." Jack fidgeted. "Some of these trips take days."

"Darn, I'm in the other group," Hank said. "I guess I'll be finding out more about 'Skippy' soon..."

"Whoa, it looks like we're leaving already. C'mon, you two," Cole called over his shoulder, as he followed Victor and the mascara lady out the door.

"Sorry, Hank," Jack said. "We'll catch up with you later."

"Okay, I'll see you then." Hank waved. "Safe travels!"

It was a short trip to the transport field. As the largest passenger, Cole boarded first and settled in.

The others followed in turn. Jake nestled in next to Kay as they prepared for takeoff. The mascara lady introduced herself as 'Lori,' and was soon cozying up to Victor. They confirmed they were all secured for transport, and then—

"Hey, who turned out the lights?" Cole said.

"Whyyy?" Jack moaned. "Is it a power failure? Oh man, we could be stuck on this runway forever…"

Kay shifted uncomfortably. "God, it's so cramped in here. And I thought my cubicle was packed! This is making me claustrophobic."

Victor finally spoke. "It'll be all right, Kay, hang in there. There's still plenty of room."

"It feels more crowded in the dark, though," she said.

Jack felt her tremble, and he took her hand. "I'm right here with you," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

Then the flight began.

It was a horrible trip, fast and bumpy. The passengers braced themselves and tried to keep calm, each too rattled to even speak. Again and again, the ride seemed to be over. They would wait and wait for the doors to open, wondering why it was taking so long.

But then they would be jolted back into action, and everything would start up again.

Jack thought he could hear Cole mumbling through the darkness, "Please don’t let us die, please don't let us die…." But the words might just have been looping inside his own head.

The flight got noisier as they went, and then suddenly there was silence.

They quivered in the dark. "Is this it?" Lori asked.

Then they set off again with a whoosh, the flight turbulent and unsteady.

"May-day! May-day!" Cole said.

"Would you stop?" Victor hissed. "The pilot can't even hear you."

They landed with a thud, and an alarm bell sounded.

"Okay, that's not good…" Victor said.

After a moment, there were banging sounds, and then a jerk as they took off yet again.

"Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick," Jack groaned.

"Keep it together, buddy," Cole said.

They bumped to a stop, and waited again. Scratching and scraping sounds came in deafening waves, as they were heaved to and fro.

Then at long last, the doors opened to a blinding expanse of light…


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---

"Hey, Josh, whatcha got there?"

"An Amazon delivery, left on our porch by mistake. Looks like camping equipment, turkey jerky, trail mix, and a Swiss Army knife. And makeup, for some bizarre reason."

"Nice! I love random Christmas, don't you?"

"Heh. Always. So, I'm calling dibs on the knife, dude, but you can have the trail mix if you want."

"Deal. And the camping thing, too."

"You got it. Hey, I wonder if this jerky's any good?"


--/--

If you enjoyed this story, please vote for it here!


The cast of characters

Comments

[meridian_rose]

OK first I was wondering where it was going and that was not it, so kudos for the surprise! :)
Second by the time they were on the flight I was worried it was going to end on a cliffhanger!
Great twist and I love the picture links :) Re-reading I enjoy the details more like Victor being complicated and "closed off" :)

[halfshellvenus]

It's always a challenge writing this kind of story-- leaving enough hints so that the character is accurately described (with a little misdirection), but not enough to spoil the ending. And then, of course, if someone goes back and re-reads, everything should only seems "more true" with the added context.

I'm glad you re-read after the pictures! Victor DOES have a lot of gear, doesn't he? I was looking at the various models to decide what to include, and that one was the most awesome choice without crossing over into being ridiculous with features. I look at it and that Homer Simpson drool noise starts up in my head: *Glaghhhh~~~*

And now that you've seen Cole, you can probably understand why those comments about Victor made him wonder if people felt the same way about him. :O

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

[murielle]

LOL! You totally got me! :-)

[halfshellvenus]

Yay!

I was hoping that would be a surprise to most people (at least for most of the story), but that if they went back and re-read, they would see the hints along the way.

You feel bad for all of them now, don't you? Because I do, too! :O

[furzicle.livejournal.com]

I would have enjoyed having this presented as a riddle. I would have loved thinking I needed to tease out the meaning. I must admit that my first reaction was that they had all died on this dangerous trip and the brilliant white at the end was that classic bright light one sees when at death's door!

[halfshellvenus]

Interesting! I hadn't thought about the riddle approach-- my mind goes more to places like that earlier in the season rather than later, usually. That would have been fun-- though with all the products Amazon sells, could you image trying to figure out what Cole was?

I tend to forget about the white-light-of-death association. :) Here, it was more that any light was bound to be blinding after they'd been stuck inside a closed box for so long. Kind of like having someone come into your room in the middle of the night and turn on the lights Ouch! :O

[rayaso]

Talk about bringing your A game! This was fantastic - through most of the story, I thought these were real salespeople. The dialogue was outstanding and convincing. Then you get to the end to find out that these are the products, who think they do the selling. Brilliant! Your use of products with first names in them (Skippy was my favorite) was great. This story wouldn't have worked with other types of products. The pictures of the characters at the end was great, as was hiding them behind the link so you could finish the story without seeing the pictures. This was also so funny and silly. I loved the distinct personalities you gave each character. This piece has elements of your stories this competition - the humor, the surprise, the wonderful dialogue, and the sheer loopiness of it all. This story should be read twice to get the full fun.

[halfshellvenus]

I so enjoy getting "inside the heads" of things that should not have thoughts!

And thinking about random products at an Amazon distribution center, who are brought together in groups for order fulfillment and then packaged up for shipping... having them see themselves as sales reps seemed fitting. They get called to meetings--less often if they're not very popular with customers-- and they go out in the field. And they definitely have opinions about how well the other "sales reps" are doing the job. :)

I had thought about using Peter Pan peanut butter at first, because 'Peter' is definitely a name, and the other products could then frown on his "unprofessional" business attire. But Skippy was much more concise, humor-wise. It's also a name, but not one you would want to use as your professional name.

And yet, poor Hank just can't get a break... ;)

[static_abyss]

This was such an excellent twist. I for sure thought there was like sci-fi stuff going on and we were going to end up in a different place, but this ending was so much more interesting. I had to go back and afterwards and reread your descriptions of your characters because that was some witty writing. Excellent entry and best of luck in the finale!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much!

I did a lot of research on choosing the characters here, both for products with "people-like" names, and for what would drive their personalities. This is when I discovered that regular tube socks with stripes are being sold more to women than to men--and those socks were not that attractive to begin with! That's how poor Hank became the most boring type of sock ever, despite being such a classic, dependable guy. :O

It's so nice to see you're out and about and reading. Thanks for taking the time to leave such a neat comment!

[vik_thor]

*chuckles*
My husband is now doing Amazon Flex deliveries, I don't think he'd ever deliver something to wrong house.

[halfshellvenus]

I think the number of mis-deliveries by actual Amazon employees (as opposed to the post office) is probably pretty low. But products arrive on doorsteps by multiple paths, so it's hard to keep the system error-free.

A more common issue is what people in our neighborhood call Porch Pirates, who cruise around looking for boxes to steal. /o\

But just last week, our son got an email from Amazon with a picture of his 'delivered' package in front of a door, and a message asking, "What do you think of our service?"

And his response was, "I think that's not my door..." :O

So glad to see you're still checking out the doings in Idol!

[vik_thor]

I'm trying to stay active here on DreamWidth in general.
I enjoy this type of community much better than FB.

[flipflop_diva]

This is great! When the guy in white started talking about being a tube-sock rep, I started getting the feeling this was more than what it seemed. By the end, I thought maybe they were someone's belongings and were being packed in a suitcase for a trip or something. But I love the Amazon twist — and it being a mistake is even better!

[halfshellvenus]

I started getting the feeling this was more than what it seemed.
Yes-- I'd hoped it wasn't too obvious at that point, but I wanted to leave the reader some legitimate hints that the "people" in the story might not be actual people. :O

My other idea for this story was similar (anthropomorphic humor), but the Amazon setting gave be a chance for a much more random assortment of characters, which was fun.

So glad you liked it! Thanks so much for ready and commenting!

[uselesstinrelic]

I think I first suspected when you named the camping guy "Cole" and then I was pretty sure Lori would be L'oreal? There was enough mystery 'things not being said' to the scene that I imagined there must be some kind of hook! Very cute! (Oh darn, I just looked at your cast of characters and now my brand guessing comment seems a little pointless. OH WELL, I'm leaving it for posterity! c: )

[halfshellvenus]

Hahaha-- You should celebrate your detecting and critical reading skills there, because you were right!

It's always a balancing act, writing anthropomorphic characters so that they have enough hints of their identity that the reader doesn't get to the end and think, "Lies! These were totally random characters, they could have been anyone!" or, OTOH, find them too obvious. :D

I'm glad you got a kick out of it. Thanks for reading!

[uselesstinrelic]

Though, now looking at the title again seems like a big hint in retrospect! XD

[sonreir]

Ha! I figured this couldn't be a normal sales office, and I'm pleased that it wasn't! I really wasn't expecting the ending...I love the different personalities you gave the products! You certainly brought your A game this week. :D

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

The characters were fun, though the research on who to use! Wow, that took a while.

I'm still kind of feeling bad for Hank. Where is the love for such a nice, painfully ordinary tube-sock guy?

[dmousey]

Well now, that was totally unexpected! A random pile of things indeed! :) 🌻😊✌🐭🎈🌈

[halfshellvenus]

Hahaha! I'm glad there was a surprise there at the end. :D