Idol Mini: "Muireall"

[halfshellvenus]

Muireall
Idol Mini | week 4 | 260 words
Uncanny Valley (The point at which something realistic becomes wrong enough to be disturbing)

x-x-x-x-x

Rory dreamed she came from the sea.

Her hair gleamed like burnished chestnut
as she waited on the shore,
her clothes dripping on the sand–
a summer storm for him alone.

Their eyes met across the distance,
he the question and she the answer.
A held-in breath, a leaping heartbeat,
and Rory felt his fortunes change.

He’d never wooed and never wed,
but found the courage to bring her home.
There, he fed her, warmed her, held her
until their searching was no more.

Words stolen by waves or the journey,
she understood naught but his earnest love.
He called her Muireall, for the ocean
that had swept through his very heart.

The surf thundered and the wind blew hollow
while each mapped the other’s ebbs and tides.
He was constant and she was playful.
They were magic spun from sea-foam and light.

For weeks, they lived as lovers
in his cottage by the cold North Sea.
Rory dared to dream of marriage,
of children– of bliss until the end of time.

But then one day, her eyes shone true:
black and depthless, they were not human,
and Rory could not hide a shiver.
He saw her realize that he knew.

She snatched her cloak from the door
and ran outside, his sad entreaties
(Muireall, it does not matter!)
slowing nothing in her stride.

She fled down to the water,
too far to hear his desperate cries.
Then she wrapped herself in her cloak (her skin),
and slipped silently back into the sea.

His sorrow filled the empty sky.


--/--

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Comments

[xeena]

Obsessed with this beautiful imagery! 🥰

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much!

[xeena]

it's honestly one of my favorite things i've ever read during lj idol <3 the emotion and love story is heart breaking and so well told and as someone who jokes that they came from the sea, the connection to it in this story really got me too <3

[halfshellvenus]

Ooh, that is even more wonderful to hear!

I don't do poems for Idol very often, but I started this as a story, and it was just clumsy. Stripping out the extraneous language was immediately easier, and I think it worked much better!

[adoptedwriter]

Beautifullt told! "They were magic spun from sea-foam and light". I love this line!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you-- I'm glad you enjoyed this!

[muchtooarrogant]

This was a perfectly encapsulated love story. I just wish the ending wasn't so predictably sad.

Very well done.

Dan

[halfshellvenus]

I think there are very few selkie stories that end happily. Whether the human is unsettled by the truth or the selkie's longing for the sea wins out, such a love is rarely destined to be eternal. :(

[astrothsknot]

they're very rarely loves on her part.

I love selkie stories that take it from the other angle - she was never coerced but it was still doomed.

[roina_arwen]

Selkies have always intrigued me. A sad story, but the only possible ending.

[halfshellvenus]

They intrigue me too! And it seems so often that the love either dies (the selkie skin is stolen, and the selkie is trapped and stops loving the man she once did) or the selkie misses the sea and life as a seal too much and returns to her other life.

A tragic love, in the end. But so passionate while it lasted!

[static_abyss]

Love, love, love the entirety of this entry. Your descriptions of their love and their surroundings and the sea were so lovely.

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, thank you so much. That is very high praise, especially from someone who is so VERY good with words and atmosphere. ♥

[mollywheezy]

Excellently written!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

[thephantomq]

Selkiesssss <3

Poor Rory, though. :( But of course, once she was found out, she knew she couldn't stay.

[halfshellvenus]

I feel sorry for them both, but I understand her fear of being trapped in human form if Rory should decide to hide or destroy her selkie skin.

[n3m3sis43]

Beautiful imagery. I love selkies. What a great choice for this prompt!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much! Once the selkie idea came to me, I couldn't NOT write it. They've always intrigued me. :)

[murielle]

A selkie I'm just grinning from ear to ear. Brilliant, K. So beautiful, so sad. So Celtic!

And what a lovely name. 😉

I love it! I really, really love it!

[halfshellvenus]

I thought you might like this!

I kept looking for sea-related Scottish names, and variants of Muriel kept coming up, so it seems I was fated to use it!

[murielle]

Of course I had to Google it, but just found an IG site selling murals.

Really is a lovely story, K. ❤❤❤

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I thought this might appeal to you on multiple levels. ALL the levels, really. :)

[murielle]

And you were right! It did. It does! :-)

[inkstainedfingertips]

This has such a beautiful tone, an almost longing, and is incredibly visual. I really enjoyed this.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much. I'm glad it spoke to you so strongly.

[rayaso]

I have read this three times now, and it gets better each time. You write exquisite poetry. The imagery was fantastic. I loved "Their eyes met across the distance,
he the question and she the answer." That is pure soul love. Then you tell a great story, concluding with "His sorrow filled the empty sky", which is phenomenal and so wonderfully describes a broken heart. Plus, selkies - I have a real weakness for selkies.

[halfshellvenus]

I'm glad you noticed 'he the question and she the answer.' It seemed to apt for someone who never found true love, but hoped he might someday find it.

I struggled so with the last line for this poem, and when I abandoned my earlier attempts at the language and went in a completely different direction, that's when I knew it was finished.

[chasing_silver]

Love a good selkie story! Beautiful wording here.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much. Selkies are so hard to resist. The very idea of them intrigues me!

[reidharriscooper]

My brain can't just think if the movie SPLASH was about a selkie instead of a mermaid.
Trust this statement is a compliment.

[halfshellvenus]

What a different story that could have been, with a selkie!

Have you ever seen Local Hero? I've always liked the mermaid understory in that movie.

[astrothsknot]

[halfshellvenus]

Hahahaha! I love your "Kudos crab."

I'm glad you enjoyed this. :D

[erulissedances]

Oh, a selkie! Wonderful!

- Erulisse (one L)

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

[banana_galaxy]

You packed so much feeling and story into this. It really grabbed me.

[halfshellvenus]

It makes me so happy to hear that. Thank you!

[talonkarrde]

excellent work!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you very much!