LJ Idol Prize Fight: "Aw, Not This Guy Again!"

[halfshellvenus]

Aw, Not This Guy Again!
LJ Idol Prize Fight | Week 1 | 386 words
It's hard to beat a person who never gives up

x-x-x-x-x

You know who I hate?

Trust me, you'll never guess. Because people are always saying, "Oh c'mon, you can't be serious. That's crazy!"

Yeah, but is it now? Is it really?

Everyone thinks he's adorable. The guy's got good press—especially with the ladies—but trust me, nothing is adorable at 4 a.m. NOTHING.

You think he's so cute, you should try living with him…

I mean, I've known some doozies in my time. There was that creepy-ass clown who loved junk food. Yeesh. I'd hate to run into him in a dark alley, you know? And who wears that much yellow, anyway? Then there was that huge cat who was obsessed with cereal, of all things—and always with the yelling! I could hear him from two floors away.

We've got stuntman falling out of buildings and driving down the street like maniacs, and underwear models on every corner. Geez louise, put some clothes on already! Plus, you know that dizzy dame with the fruit on her head? I used to run into her at the corner supermarket. I like fruit as much as the next guy, but c'mon, that was nuts.

Still, this is Hollywood, and everyone's got a dream. My dream was to be an astronaut, or maybe one of those billionaires with leggy blondes hanging off both arms, but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Anyway, back to the roommate from hell. This guy would try the patience of a saint, I swear. It's not that I want to kill him or anything, not like that coyote who's always chasing after that bird, but if I don't get some peace and quiet soon, I might just snap. *Ka-bam*

I gotta admire that coyote, though. He gets into some scrapes—I think the universe is cheating on him, to be honest. But he just keeps on plugging away. One day he's gonna get that bird, you'll see. His luck can't stay bad forever.

Aw, for crying' out loud, here he comes, my own personal Torquemada. Guess I'm not going back to the apartment anytime soon.

Yeah, you get the picture now? Banging on that bass drum day and night—and the guy never sleeps, let me tell you! It's driving me bonkers.

Man, I gotta find a new place to live…


-- fin --



.
.
.







If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

Comments

[bleodswean]

HAHAHAHA! Yep, can't beat that guy. He just won't stop. Glad to see you and your words, K!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! Oh, it's been so long. But this was such fun to write, and it feels good to be back in the saddle typing chair again. :D

[favoritebean_writes]

This was hilarious!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

[sonreir]

I love the voice in this! Tight, great pacing, and I could really empathize with the one speaking...well done!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you very much!

I really enjoy humor, and it's worth the extra effort to get the timing and approach to jokes to work out in writing. A voice like this is just plain fun to write, too. :)

[muchtooarrogant]

Yay Energizer Bunny! :) I loved this, particularly the "Torquemada."

Dan

[halfshellvenus]

Hahaha-- I'm so glad you noticed that. It seemed oddly perfect for this character, even though it isn't the kind of thing I would say myself. But HE would.

Glad to see you stopping by, too!

[thephantomq]

He just keeps going and going and going and going... ;)

It was fun trying to guess the others not mentioned by name, too.

[halfshellvenus]

The Energizer Bunny came to mind immediately when I saw the prompt, and just thinking about how it would be to live with that... wow, so incredibly annoying!

And the giant yellow clown that is Ronald McDonald... why would anyone think that was NOT creepy? The yellow actually makes it worse. :O

[rayaso]

I loved the creativity and humor in this. It was great trying to guess the identities. I missed out on Carmen Miranda for some reason. Who else wore fruit in her hair? I guess these are the perils of living in Hollywood, with stuntmen rain down on you. Ronald McDonald was always creepy.

[halfshellvenus]

I even remember the tune of the Carmen Miranda song that went with the commercials! That, and her personality, was what made the ads memorable.

I would have thought there was hardly a creepier mascot than Ronny McD, but then the Burger King as a stalker showed up in recent years. :O

[meridian_rose]

LOL, gets a vote :)

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it. :D

[adoptedwriter]

This was fun!

[halfshellvenus]

Yay! I'm glad you liked it. :)

[bellatrixe]

This made me laugh so much and then when I got to the end and saw Ronald McDonald I almost snorted into my tea bahaha

[halfshellvenus]

Hahahaha! Yes, that picture... it's such a friendly kind of wave, as if he isn't totally freaky and seriously alarming. :O

Glad you liked it!

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Hahaha...This was Hilarious! What a take! Amazing work...loved it. It's so good to see you back and I am looking forward to reading more from you. Keep going :D

[halfshellvenus]

So glad you enjoyed it! I'm not sure how many of those advertising icons were common in Canada back in the day, but probably a few of them. Ronald McDonald was always creepy to me, though the plastic Burger King stalker-shell that has showed up in recent years is even creepier!

[murielle]

You're back! And in fine fettle!

If you do ever want to kill the guy I'll help. Seriously, he's just not cute anymore.

Love it! Can't wait to read more from you. Great start!

[halfshellvenus]

Hee hee! Thank you. :D

There's a certain smugness to that pink rabbit that kind of bugs me, honestly, and the drum? That would be so utterly annoying to put up with!

[bewize]

Cute take on the prompt!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

[troof_therry]

I don't know, I've had a fair number of corroded batteries that attest to the impermanence of one particular drummy fella.

This was fun, and it's nice to be reading your stuff again. It's got such solid voice always and never mind playing around with the prompt.

[halfshellvenus]

My B-I-L insists that the best batteries come from-- get this-- Costco. He says the Kirkdale brand not only lasts, it does not corrode. And I've lost a thing or two to unplanned corrosion. :O

So glad you enjoyed this, and I'm glad you're back this season too! I've missed your work. :)

[tatdatcm]

Such a clever interpretation. It took me a minute to guess who the characters were. Well done.

[halfshellvenus]

:D I was hoping to both hint at the characters and yet not also make them incredibly obvious, so I'm glad it took a little thinking. And the rabbit himself... yes, when you get right down to it, he would be SO obnoxious if you had to deal with him for more than a 30-second commercial. :O

[wolfden]

Thus was fun.

We always called my grandma the Energizer Bunny because every time they thought she was done for she kept going and going and going. In those years, we rushed from NC to NY many times only to find her holding court in her hospital room. When she did die, my cousin asked me more than once if I was sure. This makes me think of that in all the best ways

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, your grandma must have been amazing. Some people just come through the hardest things and keep going on undaunted. I can understand your cousin's question, too, because after so many close calls... surely she beat the odds that time, too? You can't help but wish for it.

[megatronix]

Ha! This was fun! He really would make the worst roommate. XD

[halfshellvenus]

Can you imagine? Day and night, you'd be yelling, "Shaddup already!"

And that constant frenetic energy... *shudders*

[moretta]

Glorious. Simply glorious.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much! :D

[zedmanauk]

This was very funny. I read this with the voice of a Jewish guy from New York, and it seemed to fit pretty well.

[halfshellvenus]

I think that's pretty much the voice I was channeling in my head, so yay!

[n3m3sis43]

Clever take on the topic :)

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you. Really, apart from any RL approach to the prompt, this was the thing that came to me immediately-- from the flip side, because how ANNOYING would that rabbit be?

[encrefloue]

This had me smiling the whole way through! What a cool take on familiar but overlooked characters. I feel like you gave us clues to the narrator's identity (hm..."ka-bam"...), but it escapes me! Rollicking little piece--lovely work!

[halfshellvenus]

So glad you enjoyed it! I wanted to hint at the characters enough that they would probably be recognized (without giving the bunny away too soon) but no so much that the reader felt hit over the head with, say, "Theyyyyyy're great!!!"

[dmousey]

I have to laugh at your picture of the Energizer Bunny!! I almost went there for my entry! This was a cute piece. Thanks for sharing! ✌💕😊

[halfshellvenus]

He really comes to mind with that prompt, doesn't he? Though I think he's more fun when viewed from the standpoint of how obnoxious all of that noise and energy would be, because COME ON.

Glad you liked this. :D

[swirlsofpurple]

Hee! Funny!

[halfshellvenus]

I don't know how prevalent the Bun is in the UK, but he's everywhere here. And the drum alone would drive me nuts! :D

[flipflop_diva]

This was hysterical! So glad you're back this season!!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! And same to you. :D

[reidharriscooper]

For a moment I thought was about Wile and the Road Runner.

Anyways, fun stuff.

[halfshellvenus]

No, though they came to mind as well. The coyote is an example of when giving up would be a good idea! Because the narrator here is utterly wrong to think that story will ever turn out different. :O

Thanks for reading!

[tonithegreat]

Ha! What a take on the prompt! Love the pictures too. And it makes me happy to know you’re back and I get to read you again.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much! The feeling is mutual. :D