LJ Idol Prize Fight: "Aw, Not This Guy Again!"

[halfshellvenus]

Aw, Not This Guy Again!
LJ Idol Prize Fight | Week 1 | 386 words
It's hard to beat a person who never gives up

x-x-x-x-x

You know who I hate?

Trust me, you'll never guess. Because people are always saying, "Oh c'mon, you can't be serious. That's crazy!"

Yeah, but is it now? Is it really?

Everyone thinks he's adorable. The guy's got good press—especially with the ladies—but trust me, nothing is adorable at 4 a.m. NOTHING.

You think he's so cute, you should try living with him…

I mean, I've known some doozies in my time. There was that creepy-ass clown who loved junk food. Yeesh. I'd hate to run into him in a dark alley, you know? And who wears that much yellow, anyway? Then there was that huge cat who was obsessed with cereal, of all things—and always with the yelling! I could hear him from two floors away.

We've got stuntman falling out of buildings and driving down the street like maniacs, and underwear models on every corner. Geez louise, put some clothes on already! Plus, you know that dizzy dame with the fruit on her head? I used to run into her at the corner supermarket. I like fruit as much as the next guy, but c'mon, that was nuts.

Still, this is Hollywood, and everyone's got a dream. My dream was to be an astronaut, or maybe one of those billionaires with leggy blondes hanging off both arms, but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Anyway, back to the roommate from hell. This guy would try the patience of a saint, I swear. It's not that I want to kill him or anything, not like that coyote who's always chasing after that bird, but if I don't get some peace and quiet soon, I might just snap. *Ka-bam*

I gotta admire that coyote, though. He gets into some scrapes—I think the universe is cheating on him, to be honest. But he just keeps on plugging away. One day he's gonna get that bird, you'll see. His luck can't stay bad forever.

Aw, for crying' out loud, here he comes, my own personal Torquemada. Guess I'm not going back to the apartment anytime soon.

Yeah, you get the picture now? Banging on that bass drum day and night—and the guy never sleeps, let me tell you! It's driving me bonkers.

Man, I gotta find a new place to live…


-- fin --



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If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

Comments

[bleodswean]

HAHAHAHA! Yep, can't beat that guy. He just won't stop. Glad to see you and your words, K!

[favoritebean_writes]

This was hilarious!

[sonreir]

I love the voice in this! Tight, great pacing, and I could really empathize with the one speaking...well done!

[muchtooarrogant]

Yay Energizer Bunny! :) I loved this, particularly the "Torquemada."

Dan

[thephantomq]

He just keeps going and going and going and going... ;)

It was fun trying to guess the others not mentioned by name, too.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! Oh, it's been so long. But this was such fun to write, and it feels good to be back in the saddle typing chair again. :D

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you very much!

I really enjoy humor, and it's worth the extra effort to get the timing and approach to jokes to work out in writing. A voice like this is just plain fun to write, too. :)

[halfshellvenus]

Hahaha-- I'm so glad you noticed that. It seemed oddly perfect for this character, even though it isn't the kind of thing I would say myself. But HE would.

Glad to see you stopping by, too!

[halfshellvenus]

The Energizer Bunny came to mind immediately when I saw the prompt, and just thinking about how it would be to live with that... wow, so incredibly annoying!

And the giant yellow clown that is Ronald McDonald... why would anyone think that was NOT creepy? The yellow actually makes it worse. :O

[rayaso]

I loved the creativity and humor in this. It was great trying to guess the identities. I missed out on Carmen Miranda for some reason. Who else wore fruit in her hair? I guess these are the perils of living in Hollywood, with stuntmen rain down on you. Ronald McDonald was always creepy.

[meridian_rose]

LOL, gets a vote :)

[halfshellvenus]

I even remember the tune of the Carmen Miranda song that went with the commercials! That, and her personality, was what made the ads memorable.

I would have thought there was hardly a creepier mascot than Ronny McD, but then the Burger King as a stalker showed up in recent years. :O

[adoptedwriter]

This was fun!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it. :D

[halfshellvenus]

Yay! I'm glad you liked it. :)

[bellatrixe]

This made me laugh so much and then when I got to the end and saw Ronald McDonald I almost snorted into my tea bahaha

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Hahaha...This was Hilarious! What a take! Amazing work...loved it. It's so good to see you back and I am looking forward to reading more from you. Keep going :D

[murielle]

You're back! And in fine fettle!

If you do ever want to kill the guy I'll help. Seriously, he's just not cute anymore.

Love it! Can't wait to read more from you. Great start!

[halfshellvenus]

Hahahaha! Yes, that picture... it's such a friendly kind of wave, as if he isn't totally freaky and seriously alarming. :O

Glad you liked it!

[halfshellvenus]

So glad you enjoyed it! I'm not sure how many of those advertising icons were common in Canada back in the day, but probably a few of them. Ronald McDonald was always creepy to me, though the plastic Burger King stalker-shell that has showed up in recent years is even creepier!

[bewize]

Cute take on the prompt!

[troof_therry]

I don't know, I've had a fair number of corroded batteries that attest to the impermanence of one particular drummy fella.

This was fun, and it's nice to be reading your stuff again. It's got such solid voice always and never mind playing around with the prompt.

[tatdatcm]

Such a clever interpretation. It took me a minute to guess who the characters were. Well done.

[wolfden]

Thus was fun.

We always called my grandma the Energizer Bunny because every time they thought she was done for she kept going and going and going. In those years, we rushed from NC to NY many times only to find her holding court in her hospital room. When she did die, my cousin asked me more than once if I was sure. This makes me think of that in all the best ways