Idol Survivor: "For My Sister"

[halfshellvenus]

For My Sister
idol survivor | daily-fic challenge, day four | 201 words

x-x-x-x-x

Do you remember
the mazes you built
in the hayloft of the barn?
Scratchy straw against my skin,
the scent tickling my nose
as I crawled by flashlight
through S-turns and elbows
to finally reach the heart.
A cat with new kittens
was the prize that waited.

Do you remember
the rides on your pony,
me blindfolded in front
with your arm around me
while you steered your steed
in arcs and criss-crosses,
double-backs and spins,
before peeling back the dark
to let me guess our location
on that farm some 70-acres wide?

Do you remember
when you read to me,
Dr. Seuss and other stories
given life by your energy
long before you would share them
with other preschoolers
in a career you would someday love?

Do you remember
that you were beautiful,
capable, giving,
the older sister so amazing
and so confident
that you were everything
I hoped I'd someday be?

I know this disease
is stealing control
of your muscles, your movements,
even parts of your deepest self.
But I hope it leaves enough
of who you are, who you were,
that all those moments
will stay with you
as they always have with me.

Will you remember?


--/--

Comments

[murielle]

Beautiful. Heartbreaking. A glorious tribute to the author of your memories.

[gunwithoutmusic]

*hugs* This is so sad. I think sometimes, we have to be okay with it being enough that they live on in our memories. Just before my grandmother passed, she had basically lost all of her memories of us, and it was heartbreaking. She was with us for Christmas and said that she was so happy that she was there with us and that "kind strangers" had let her spend Christmas with them because she didn't have a family anymore. :(

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs. Best to your sister. I did not know she was ill. Beautiful sentiments.

[bsgsix]

This one just - ugh, friend, it really hits home in a painful and yet elegant way.

The reason I haven't been around (I'll update in full soon) is that I was diagnosed with Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis - I had the more traditional relapse/remit MS that most people have (about 80%), but the issues in February/March were mostly because the MS had progressed to this final stage. I'm 39, and my neurologists (I have three) don't think I'll be able to walk by the time I'm 50. 70% of my brain has been overtaken. I'm starting to forget some words, and many days, need a walker or cane. I can't control my muscles, my movements, and sometimes, the things I say.

I don't know what disease your sister has, but this is relatable, and I feel... connected to your words. "Will you remember?" is a question I've had to ask myself since my 2010 brain injury, and now, it's "there's so much I WANT to remember - how do I make sure not to forget?" Your poem really reminded me of that in such a powerful way. Beautiful, sad, and I'm sorry you (and your sister) know this struggle and worry and pain. <3

[penpusher]

Whatever our failings, our foibles, the elements that embarrass us, shock us, bore us or anger us about ourselves we need to hold on to what makes us human, to what we want to celebrate, to everything that makes us appreciate our lives.

What an evocative and loving tribute to your big sister and what a hopeful wish that demands to come true.

[alycewilson]

What a touching and heartbreaking tribute to your sister. I hope you show it to her.

[swirlsofpurple]

These memories are painted so beautifully here, heart-wrenching, thank you for sharing, I hope everything works out okay *hugs*