Idol Mini: "Searching"

[halfshellvenus]

Searching
Idol Mini | week 10
Synaesthesia

x-x-x-x-x

Faithfully, you follow
the silent path
of remembered sorrow
to the listening lake.

Meadow memories
gleam golden
under yesterday's sun.
The trees breathe blue
solitude, black
certainty, shivering
against the symphony
of self-doubt.

Will tomorrow sing
the warmth of welcome
or mourn the bitterness
of bleak rejection?

Fear clings red,
the lifeblood of failure,
while the color for
loneliness has no name.

A wish is the summons
of an offered rose,
sweet hope masking
the reek of desperation.
There is no triumph
without trying,
no dancing the dream
of true connection.

Let the wind awaken
your will to wander
and green your courage
to face the new day.


--/--

If you enjoyed this poem, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Awesome alliteration!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I think it's the musician in me that likes it so much.

[muchtooarrogant]

Very nice! I particularly liked "symphony
of self-doubt" and "green your courage." This was beautifully descriptive.

Dan

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I have certainly heard the symphony of self-doubt, ever-evolving and expanding, and so complex it can become overwhelming.

[reidharriscooper]

The pureness of painting with the words especially for those who only see words.

[halfshellvenus]

I also like the feelings (moods) that sounds and smells can call forth. They might not make sense rationally, but at a subliminal level, they click.

[chasing_silver]

I think the way you combined colour with words was the perfect way to use synesthesia!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you thought so.

[borgmama1of5]

Eloquent

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

[erulissedances]

This was interesting, well molded, and well said.

- Erulisse (one L)

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

[swirlsofpurple]

The imagery here is absolutely exquisite!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[rayaso]

I've read this several times now, and it just keep getting better. The first stanza is a home run. Everything is so evocative and your images are wonderful. I liked the way you used alliteration, it is subtle and I didn't feel like you were hitting me over the head with it. This was a beautiful way to use the prompt.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you! I tend to lean toward alliteration--it makes poetry more like music to me, I guess. I try not to overdo it.

It's funny how much time you can spend crafting the slightest word choice in poetry, even when the result isn't very long. But I like where this wound up.

[xeena]

I really love this, it has such an uplifting sense of determination and calm.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much! I've been in the situation described here, and always try to remember that the potential reward is worth the emotional risk.

[bleodswean]

This is so lovely, K! I adore this - while the color for
loneliness has no name.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you-- that was one of my favorite lines as well. Loneliness is such a large, distinct concept, and I can imagine it being too big to evoke a single color or image for someone who has that sensory overlap.

[murielle]

"...the color for
loneliness has no name."

This line! Oh, K. You got me hard. It doesn't happen often, but when it does. This.

❤❤❤

[halfshellvenus]

I have known that feeling over too many points in my life (mostly before adulthood), and that line just holds its own truth for me. Thank you for letting me know it spoke to you, too!

[inkstainedfingertips]

while the color for
loneliness has no name.

This was my favorite line from your poem. Beautiful work.

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it!

[fausts_dream]

Idol has many unspoken things that are just understood. One is more obvious after what is it a half dozen go arounds; you can write anything.

The alliteration here is especially powerful.

Has anyone ever won LJI twice, because you just might.

[halfshellvenus]

Dadi has-- including a regular (endless) season!

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and are a fan of alliteration as well!