LJ Idol Prize Fight: "Employee Loyalty"

[halfshellvenus]

Employee Loyalty
LJ Idol Prize Fight | Week 4 | xxx words
Ghosting

~*~*~*~

I've had some lousy jobs in my time, but this has got to be one of the worst. Okay, not the worst—I mean, it's not a gas station or a convenience store, or (god forbid) telemarketing. But it's the kind of place where you realize that if you don't get out, it'll drive you crazy.

It's one of those 'everything stores,' where they sell clothes, groceries, household goods, home repair products, toys, electronics, and pet and garden supplies. Kind of like a Walmart, but generic. Ultra low-rent, and definitely cheaper.

I mean, it even sounds like Hell.

The lighting isn't great. It's murky and sickly green out on the sales floor, and the back is either too dark or it's that eyeball-stabbing blinding desert brightness that guarantees you'll never sleep again. Every single thought hurts.

The parent company has probably forgotten the store exists, or maybe they just gave up on setting guidelines. Things are bizarrely inefficient. For instance, the store's layout changes every couple of weeks. It's all the same merchandise, it just moves around—like someone hitting 'shuffle' on an MP3 player. That means restocking stuff is a real pain. I don't know what the underlying thinking is. Maybe the theory is that forcing people to look harder for what they want keeps them shopping longer, increasing the chances of impulse buying. Well, as long as shoppers don't get frustrated and leave, anyway. Or maybe it boils down to a different managers having competing visions for the store, where they each get a few weeks to try out their ideas before it's someone else's turn.

Whatever. The whole thing is stupid and annoying, and you never know where anything is. That makes it hard to be helpful to our customers.

The customers, by the way, are the worst part of this job.

Most aren't very smart, and they sure complain an awful lot. And they could definitely use better hygiene. But the biggest problem is, they just don't have sense. You keep wanting to say things like, "With your blood pressure, are you kidding me? You can't eat that!" or "Geez, you look like a traffic cone in that outfit!"

Do they listen? No. But somebody should say it.

Customers knock stuff off the shelves, they paw over the merchandise, they spill milkshakes and Fritos all over the floor. Seriously, they're like barn animals or something. I spend half my time cleaning up their messes.

They're rude and they're angry—usually at each other. I don't know what goes through their heads.

Plus, they spread rumors. Sure, it's mostly dumb things like, "Did you know this store is haunted?" But that's ridiculous! Why would you even say that? Sometimes I think they just make stuff up. Clearly, they've got nothing better to do than buy junk food and try on ugly clothes all day…

The other employees aren't very friendly. They're as messy and rude as the customers, always interrupting me or leaving their crap in my locker. Most of them ignore me, which is probably for the best—the turnover here is unbelievable. My friend Jimmy's okay, though. We talk out by the loading dock sometimes, on break. That poor kid has been on parking-lot duty forever, rounding up shopping carts and picking up trash. You'd think he'd have been promoted by now. Me too, come to think of it. I've been here longer than anyone.

Out on the sales floor, I can see it must be close to Halloween now. Already? I could swear we were selling Christmas decorations just the other day. Time flies, I guess. Work, work, work. I can't even remember the last time I had a vacation…

But the Halloween candy's out, and the costumes displays are up. Huh—I don't even recognize half of the new characters this year. Must be from kids' cartoons or something.

There are costumes lying on the floor, so I should probably tidy them up. A woman with black lipstick is standing in the middle of the display area, drinking coffee and eyeing some kind of Vampirella get-up—which would not be much of a stretch for her, obviously. I pick up a child-sized Superman costume and put it back on the rack, and—

Whoa. The woman totally freaks out and throws her cup right into the air!

"Aw, geez! Now I gotta clean that up too."

She screams at me—screams, I kid you not—and bolts off down the aisle, knocking stuff over right and left.

Ugh. Thanks, lady. Make an even bigger mess, why don't you? Who does that?

God, this job.

I should really start looking for something new, and this time I mean it. No really, I swear—my next day off, I'll look through the paper and see who's hiring.

Whenever that is, because I don’t actually remember.

Funny, but it feels like I've been at this job forever.


--//--

If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Haha! This is great! Reminds me of a retail job I had when I was 19 and living in Florida. That store was a hot mess...Out of business now...

[halfshellvenus]

At least you escaped! This poor character will be stuck there possibly forever. Unless it's demolished or something. :O

[conuly]

Somebody should tell them they're dead! Then they can just ditch and watch movies.

[halfshellvenus]

That would be the nice thing! Though Jimmy can't come into the store, but they could set up a TV at the back where they take their breaks.

Of course, all the customers and other employees would run screaming out of the store as the TV moved there on its own. :O

Thanks for reading!

[bsgsix]

Oh, this is clever. I chuckled my way through this. Gives a brand-new meaning of forever, right? ;)

[halfshellvenus]

It does! "Forever"-- it's not just sarcasm anymore!

Maybe employees should ask themselves, "Are you super-dedicated? Or maybe just cursed?"

Glad you enjoyed it!

[tatdatcm]

Haven't we all had a job or two like this? Love the exasperation.

[halfshellvenus]

I think we have-- but most of us are able to leave if we want to!

This poor guy's day off is never coming...

[dmousey]

I think I've had all of those crap jobs before and after my 25yr stint in dentistry. 😁 Thank you for sharing your talent. 🎃✌😊~~~d

[halfshellvenus]

A crappy job, but SO much worse if you're literally trapped there forever. Though he's probably better off than the parking lot ghost. Less bored, at least!

[kehlen.livejournal.com]

Haha, awesome twist!

By the way, I have heard that moving stuff around is not about impulse buying, but getting money from the parent company for "redecorating and repairs".

But impulse buying makes more sense to me, too.

[halfshellvenus]

I hadn't heard about redecorating and repairs, but there's even a term for the process intended to trigger 'impulse boys.' It's the idea of creating an 'opportunity walk,' where people meander in and out of the merchandise and suddenly see something they want but would not have thought to write on a list.:O

[bleodswean]

Hahaha! That is both cute and unnerving because I KNOW this store! Your description of it is absolutely spot-on. Great work setting the scene, K!

[halfshellvenus]

Ah, so you know this store... but is it HAUNTED? Having it be haunted seems so much worse than the general free-flowing idiocy that characters so many places like this. :D

[static_abyss]

I figured put what was going on halfway and I was absolutely delighted, and your hints towards the end didn't disappoint. Amazing!

[halfshellvenus]

It's such a balance, trying not to give away the meaning too soon but also making sure you don't smack the reader over the head with it... and that on a re-read, nothing said earlier contradicts what's actually going on!

But I so love the unreliable narrator, which is perfect for a story like this.

Why do ghosts haunt? Well... maybe it's not on purpose. Maybe they don't even know they're doing it!

So glad you enjoyed this and caught what was happening here. :D

[the_eternal_overthinker]

LOL..This was terrific :D It took me a while to realize why this guy is stuck here "forever" and I had a good laugh when the woman freaked out. Amazing take!

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you!

Poor guy... though at least he has Jimmy for company, which is both sad and good, really. :)

[rayaso]

This was so wonderful and so much fun! At first, I thought you were writing a rant about working in a retail store, but then the hints started popping up that the unfortunate clerk was a ghost! If I had to haunt a particular place, a store would be at the bottom of my list. It is great reading this a second time, so you can really catch all the hints. This is a very sly piece. which you are so good at writing. You do an excellent job with short dead-on descriptions which are so evocative, like the lighting.

[halfshellvenus]

The rant was the misdirection, though all parts of the rant are legitimate. ;)

Doesn't this sound like a terrible place to be stuck? Especially for an earnest ghost who's just tryna keep the place clean!

[megatronix]

Oh no, to not know and be stuck in retail hell forever.. Oh dear! The "this customer actually screamed at me!" kind of exasperation was funny! Well done, this is a fun entry.

[halfshellvenus]

Imagine if you didn't know you were a ghost, and some lady started throwing stuff around and screaming at you. How rude! :D

[meridian_rose]

Great twist :D

[halfshellvenus]

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!

[murielle]

LOL! (Jimmy gave it up for me.) You are awesome! This is so funny! But seriously, if I believed in hell this would be it!

Brava!

[halfshellvenus]

Hahaha-- Jimmy, the poor kid who can't leave the parking lot, and whose job is actually worse than the narrator's? Though at least they have each other. :D

So glad you liked it!

[favoritebean_writes]

This was such a fun read. Customers just don't understand ghosts at all, do they?

[halfshellvenus]

I imagine the customers don't think about them much at all, until clothing or other stuff starts moving around the store on its own. Then it's every would-be Vampirella for herself!

[tonithegreat]

I went to Target late last night and I think I was there with your characters! The good news is I got Christmas shopping started. The bad news is while I remembered cat litter I forgot laundry detergent. So back to hell I go tonight, probably right around closing time again! This was delightful!

[halfshellvenus]

This is actually how I feel about the current Target 'vision' right now! I was there yesterday, after girding my loins to enter the place, and was reminded all over again of how much I hate what they've done to their stores. I used to love Target... :(

So glad you enjoyed the story, so sorry you know the horror of this kind of store and what might just be waiting around the next aisle. :D

[bellatrixe]

This was an absolute delight from start to finish :D

[halfshellvenus]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

[moretta]

Oh, poor employee. I really enjoyed this, the slow realisation that is was fiction, that he has been and will be stuck there for eternity...
Well written!

[halfshellvenus]

Yay! I'm glad the truth of the narrator didn't arrive too early, but did get there in the end.

Poor guy. But at least he has a friend. :)

[nayanawrites]

Seriously I had no idea where this was going ... but then I enjoyed the journey and the destination. Neither one better than the other.

[halfshellvenus]

I'm glad both parts were fun for you! That was the goal, so that's good to hear. Thanks for reading!

[bewize]

Ugh. It may be hell... *lol*

Great story!

[halfshellvenus]

Or just seems like it!

Though if you could never leave, and never got promoted (and WERE in fact, you know... dead), how would you be able to tell the difference? Because those in-the-trenches jobs at a place like that are pretty awful. :O