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halfshellvenus) wrote2019-01-16 04:30 pm
halfshellvenus) wrote2019-01-16 04:30 pm
Entry tags:
LJ Idol Prize Fight: "What In The World"
What In The World
idol prize fight | week 12 | 730 words
MacGuffin
x-x-x-x-x
[Fade in on the cry of birds calling to one another over the rushing waves of the sea]
[Helicopter camera footage of the ocean, drifting right to pick up the shore and then slowly zooming in on large gray rocks upon which stand groups of...]
Narrator:
Birds. Great flapping, squawking, colonies of birds.
Here, where the land meets the sea, these strange creatures make their homes.
Hunted… haunted… they are the object of obsession for characters ranging from dime-novel detectives to bullwhip-wielding archeologists.
These are MacGuffins.
[Theme music]
[Title sequence]
[Camera pans across coastline, where birds of varying shapes and sizes bustle, hop, and occasionally take flight]
Narrator:
These longtime components of literary construction live by the dark, frigid waters of the vast Word Sea.
Distinguishable by their brightly-colored beaks, they are an ancient species, perhaps as old as the dawn of civilization itself.
[Footage of sun rising over the ocean]
[Dissolve to camera zoom on close-up of MacGuffin chicks being fed by a parent]
Narrator:
From their beginnings as chicks, these birds will grow larger and larger until they reach adulthood. Then and only then will they be able to fly while bearing the weight of an entire plot on their shoulders.
[Camera close-up of MacGuffins in flight, soaring at low range over the sea]
Narrator:
The variety amongst these creatures is astonishing. Some resemble jewels or currency, and others may look like briefcases, automobiles, stolen princesses, or objets d'art. One of the largest recorded MacGuffins was the lost city of Atlantis, whilst the Golden Fleece was one of the oldest.
But not all MacGuffins are fully realized. Some remain ill-defined lumps due to incompetence or lack of effort.
[Camera close-up on a gray bird-thing shaped like a moldy burlap bag set on top of a pair of toothpick legs]
Narrator:
These wretched creatures may be ostracized by other birds and forced to live at the periphery of their own society. Some may even die.
Still, by the time they have reached maturity, even the weakest MacGuffins are hard to kill.
[Footage of other MacGuffins screeching at the bird-thing and attempt to peck it. The bird-thing puffs out its scrappy feathers and raises its misshapen wings, lunging at the other birds as they back away]
[Dissolve to new footage of MacGuffins flying above the ocean. At intervals, the birds swoop and dive into the water]
Narrator:
The birds spend hours each day hunting for the nourishment they need to survive. Swimming through the Word Sea, they search for the scraps of dialogue and fundamental narrative that comprise their main diet.
But these elements alone are not enough. Without regular supplements of viability and plausibility, a MacGuffin may grow weak and die.
[Camera close-up of a sickly MacGuffin slowly drowning in the Word Sea]
Narrator:
Some MacGuffins particularly enjoy the taste of action sequences, while others are partial to incidental friendship or romance. But most are driven to seek out the most elusive prey of all: character development, intrigue, and suspense.
[Camera close-up of a MacGuffin's beak tugging a black cloud-creature of suspense out from under a rock]
Narrator:
Still, they must be careful not to overindulge their appetites. While both tempting and plentiful, too much red herring can be toxic—even fatal—to the smallest and weakest of MacGuffins.
[Camera close-up of a droopy fledgling MacGuffin roosting on a rock]
Narrator:
Tragically, not all MacGuffins have the capacity to survive. Their long history notwithstanding, at times they can be horrifyingly stupid.
[Montage of MacGuffins flying into cliffs and smacking at high speed into the Word Sea in explosions of feathers]
Narrator:
And there is always the risk of falling prey to larger, more powerful plot devices.
[Footage of a MacGuffin being swallowed whole by a gigantic white whale]
Narrator:
But most will continue on in quiet determination, living peacefully here on these shores and raising their young…
[Footage of a MacGuffin tending its chicks]
Narrator:
Feeding off of narrative elements and literary structures…
[Footage of a MacGuffin swimming underwater, chasing sparkling sentence-eels]
Narrator:
And keeping plots aloft for generations to come.
[Footage of MacGuffins wheeling over the glittering ocean under a bright blue sky]
[Closing Theme Music]
[End-Credit Sequence]
Voice Over:
Next week on What In The World, join us for θ, the secret life of the theta symbol: mathematical complex variable function, or spy?
If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.
idol prize fight | week 12 | 730 words
MacGuffin
x-x-x-x-x
[Fade in on the cry of birds calling to one another over the rushing waves of the sea]
[Helicopter camera footage of the ocean, drifting right to pick up the shore and then slowly zooming in on large gray rocks upon which stand groups of...]
Narrator:
Birds. Great flapping, squawking, colonies of birds.
Here, where the land meets the sea, these strange creatures make their homes.
Hunted… haunted… they are the object of obsession for characters ranging from dime-novel detectives to bullwhip-wielding archeologists.
These are MacGuffins.
[Theme music]
[Title sequence]
[Camera pans across coastline, where birds of varying shapes and sizes bustle, hop, and occasionally take flight]
Narrator:
These longtime components of literary construction live by the dark, frigid waters of the vast Word Sea.
Distinguishable by their brightly-colored beaks, they are an ancient species, perhaps as old as the dawn of civilization itself.
[Footage of sun rising over the ocean]
[Dissolve to camera zoom on close-up of MacGuffin chicks being fed by a parent]
Narrator:
From their beginnings as chicks, these birds will grow larger and larger until they reach adulthood. Then and only then will they be able to fly while bearing the weight of an entire plot on their shoulders.
[Camera close-up of MacGuffins in flight, soaring at low range over the sea]
Narrator:
The variety amongst these creatures is astonishing. Some resemble jewels or currency, and others may look like briefcases, automobiles, stolen princesses, or objets d'art. One of the largest recorded MacGuffins was the lost city of Atlantis, whilst the Golden Fleece was one of the oldest.
But not all MacGuffins are fully realized. Some remain ill-defined lumps due to incompetence or lack of effort.
[Camera close-up on a gray bird-thing shaped like a moldy burlap bag set on top of a pair of toothpick legs]
Narrator:
These wretched creatures may be ostracized by other birds and forced to live at the periphery of their own society. Some may even die.
Still, by the time they have reached maturity, even the weakest MacGuffins are hard to kill.
[Footage of other MacGuffins screeching at the bird-thing and attempt to peck it. The bird-thing puffs out its scrappy feathers and raises its misshapen wings, lunging at the other birds as they back away]
[Dissolve to new footage of MacGuffins flying above the ocean. At intervals, the birds swoop and dive into the water]
Narrator:
The birds spend hours each day hunting for the nourishment they need to survive. Swimming through the Word Sea, they search for the scraps of dialogue and fundamental narrative that comprise their main diet.
But these elements alone are not enough. Without regular supplements of viability and plausibility, a MacGuffin may grow weak and die.
[Camera close-up of a sickly MacGuffin slowly drowning in the Word Sea]
Narrator:
Some MacGuffins particularly enjoy the taste of action sequences, while others are partial to incidental friendship or romance. But most are driven to seek out the most elusive prey of all: character development, intrigue, and suspense.
[Camera close-up of a MacGuffin's beak tugging a black cloud-creature of suspense out from under a rock]
Narrator:
Still, they must be careful not to overindulge their appetites. While both tempting and plentiful, too much red herring can be toxic—even fatal—to the smallest and weakest of MacGuffins.
[Camera close-up of a droopy fledgling MacGuffin roosting on a rock]
Narrator:
Tragically, not all MacGuffins have the capacity to survive. Their long history notwithstanding, at times they can be horrifyingly stupid.
[Montage of MacGuffins flying into cliffs and smacking at high speed into the Word Sea in explosions of feathers]
Narrator:
And there is always the risk of falling prey to larger, more powerful plot devices.
[Footage of a MacGuffin being swallowed whole by a gigantic white whale]
Narrator:
But most will continue on in quiet determination, living peacefully here on these shores and raising their young…
[Footage of a MacGuffin tending its chicks]
Narrator:
Feeding off of narrative elements and literary structures…
[Footage of a MacGuffin swimming underwater, chasing sparkling sentence-eels]
Narrator:
And keeping plots aloft for generations to come.
[Footage of MacGuffins wheeling over the glittering ocean under a bright blue sky]
[Closing Theme Music]
[End-Credit Sequence]
Voice Over:
Next week on What In The World, join us for θ, the secret life of the theta symbol: mathematical complex variable function, or spy?
If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.
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Those become LJ Idol Crapfest entries. Ones where I finish beneath suicide posts, bye declarations and Vogon poetry.
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Vogon poetry! A fellow aficionado of the Hitchhiker's Guide, I see. You know, SWUT showed up a few weeks ago in a Crypto-quote puzzle (as the encrypted version of some other word), and it felt like a special message from the Universe, somehow. ;)
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Though researching the formatting and envisioning the detail... wow. Even more work than usual!
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I could not stay away from this idea (because, how WEIRD, and yet how totally ME?)
But I haven't written anything in script-like form before (the format usually annoys me to an ungodly degree), so that was kind of a battle all by itself.
I think I made it out the other side, though. :O
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*hugs*
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I rarely write meta, but satire and/or crack are my favorite ways to approach it.
Well really, crack is always fun for me. Is this over the line into crack, or still firmly satire? So hard to know. :)
Thanks for reading!
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Moby Dick absolutely had to make an appearance here. He _could_ be mistaken for a MacGuffin, but isn't, and a whale's gotta eat. He might as well make a point while he's at it. ;)
The theta symbol... what do we REALLY know about what it's up to? :O
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Now, to get this up on BBC. It needs some proper narration. ;)
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Yes, the English narrator felt oddly appropriate, even if the show itself wasn't British. Though that seems to be the case for a lot of documentaries!
Perhaps it was the idea of that calm, above-it-all tone being used to describe utter weirdness. The more absurd, the better. :D
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Though too much can kill them, much like too many in a story would make it seem ridiculous and eventually incompetent. Not that it keeps anyone from doing it. ;)
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The British narrator here really provides that tone of authority, doesn't it? As if one could never dare think that any of this were untrue. :D
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And someone could dare think this untrue? *GASPS AND CLUTCHES PEARLS* LOL. ;)
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Amazing. I love, love, love all the imagery!
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So glad you enjoyed this, and how very different it was. New format for me, so definitely a little bit of a stretch!
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Those poor sickly MacGuffins, though. I think I have quite a few of them around my house ...
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Yes, whether it's snacking on junk food or just being mutants, a lot of MacGuffins never make it off the ground. :O
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